The Ice Breaker

After exposing myself to new social enviroment and arriving at a different ambient I commonly do not frequent I decided to observe my surroundings. So there I was standing in a middle of a bar ,swaying to the music and slowly looking at everyone there. I was in the midst of this eclectic (or as they would consider calling themselves) crowd with their vintage clothing, retro haircuts and glass wear working their “Tumblr Hipster Image” to the core while I stuck out like a sore thumb with my white blouse, shorts and flamboyant earrings. After facing some people’s piercing looks, incessant gawking and whispers clearly signaling “We have and intruder she does not belong” and telling myself as I picked up my drink and left the bar area  “Well you’ve succesfully managed to get yourself into an awkward position once again.” I decided to gather my observations and conduct a small social experiment. After all this seemed like the perfect place to try my hypothesis. I believe people are different , different tastes, different styles and hey isn’t variety the spice of life? But this was a bit too much spice for my taste and little I did I know how quick I was about to find out.  I picked the most representative male working the “Tumblr Hispter Image” and walked up to him. I said the first thing that came to mind. “Tienes un ‘garrette?” was the ice breaker. He immediately took one out and I said thanks. “Ah, tu fumas? ” were the first words that popped out of his mouth. “No parece.” He continued. Because I don’t I said to myself, but I played along. He asked me if the beer I was drinking was all I drank he proceeded to ask if I was alone (I said yes, though I wasn’t) and complemented my piercings and tattoo. A Puerto Rican traditional music group stared playing music and I could hear him blabber nonsense about his “musical wisdom” and how in tune he was with Puerto Rican culture as part of his script in order to impress me. In the peak of “musical dissertation” it happened. He felt the need to seal the banal encounter and the question arose just like that.”Vives cerca?, yo vivo cerca podemos chillear en la mia un rato cuando termines de beberte tu cerveza.” He didn’t even know my name all he knew was that we shared a common vice , I drank Blue Moon and that we had hit it off so well the idea of having sex with a random stranger was the perfect ending to his night.  I agreed and as I walked out of the bar and hinted my friend what was according to him “about to go down” I stopped and asked what was his name. “Mi nombre? Miguel” and he asked mine back . I staled him until I could feel him getting impatient. He was about to score and get laid and I was delaying the process of him reaching his goal! I am so inconsiderate! He showed me his Instagram Pictures, Facebook Profile and Twitter Account with the purpose of letting me know that what I was witnessing in the flesh and blood matched the image the sent the world of himself in social media. These all filled with carefully select images that exuded the message his outfit and behavior were trying to convey “I am an extremely unique individual and I want you to think of me as the deepest/intellectual being on Earth, though I can’t conduct a conversation correctly and have cheesy pick up lines for girls. “Mira un pana me acaba de llamar, para caerle a su apartment. Me tengo que ir. Vienes?” was his way to cut me off as he finally stepped out of his egocentric self and noticed he wasn’t going anywhere that night. I answered I was waiting for someone. He was surprised at my answer since he could not understand why I decided to skip out on a great opportunity such as this. He looked at me straight in the eye and said , “Enserio. Picheaera entonces” and cue: He left irritated.  After texting my friend to come outside and telling her the outcome of my experience I thought this: Superficial people lead to superficial encounters, people who need to bring social media to back up their personality HAVE LITTLE PERSONALITY ,hooking up based on banality, alcohol and desire is the perfect way to seal SUPERFICIAL DEAL. I am not saying it’s wrong ,but let’s be true to ourselves and not whine afterwards about how shallow people can be.What’s the perfect ice breaker, if our principal concern is to impress someone via our post on Facebook, Twitter, or any other social network? How can anything develop if we solely rely on that in order to establish starting point with anyone? What positive outcome can that have?  Few , if  you want my answer. The moment we put aside the importance we give to how followers on social media view us and put on an honest act will be the day we find the perfect ice breaker with anyone we want to talk to… or any stranger we want to pick up at a bar for that matter 😉

Tinder Troubles – Valerie

I couple of days ago I decided to try Tinder again.  It’s the third time I download it and of course, it sucked. Again.  I kept hearing stories of people who got relationships from Tinder and even one girl found this amazing guy through the application and is getting married! I started getting my hopes up so I tried it again.  I’ve been single for a very long time and now I just really want to be in a relationship.  It sounds so corny but I get lonely.  I’ve never been in love or had a serious long relationship.  Of course I want it to happen naturally but it’s just not happening.  I’m in college and all the guys I meet just want one thing. Sex.  I like to party but that’s not all I want to do.  Can’t someone just ask me out on a real date?! And not be thirty?! Cause the last time someone asked me out, he ended up being 31 years old.  No thank you.  He was nice but come on.  Go find someone closer to your age.

So yeah back to Tinder.  I swiped right a couple of guys and got a lot of matches.  Only two guys talked to me first and one of them just said, “You look drastically different in all of your pictures.” Really? That’s your opening line? Asshole.  I just asked, “Then why swipe right?” I mean why even bother.  It happens.  I look different when I’m not wearing make-up and my pictures are mixed.  I’m not always gonna look fabulous or ‘hot’.  After that the guy just laughed and said that he didn’t mean it in a bad way. Whatever.  Then he asked me which girl I was in the last picture.  This sounds like an innocent question but for me it was a done deal.  He was dumb.  It felt like to me all girls looked the same.  Let me paint you a picture.  The last picture on my profile is one of me and two other girls.  On the right is my blonde friend and in the middle is my Asian friend.  I’m on the left with dark brown hair.  Not one looks like the other.  But I replied and said, “I’m the one on the left.”  No more texts from that guy.  I doesn’t really matter. I mean why so much concern over my appearance.  A simple hello would have been better.  The other guy that messaged me was pretty nice but he just asked me about places to hang out in downtown when he found out that that’s where I lived.  The next day he asked me if I was busy that night and I said I worked till midnight and that was it.  Nobody wants to have a real conversation.  Is that so much to ask?! I have more matches but now I’m honestly just to scared to start a conversation.  I don’t wanna hook up! And I just don’t feel like being rejected just because of that. Should I just delete Tinder again? Or keep trying?

Hello world! – Valerie

Ilsia and me. We’re 20. We’re sassy. And we’re searching.  We’re searching for what everyone is looking for. Love. Happiness. Success.  But lately we’ve been noticing something that’s bothering us.  Social media.  At a touch of a button we have countless information on whoever or whatever.  It sounds great and most of the time it is but when do we say, “Okay, I’m done.”  I use Facebook everyday but sometimes I just want to quit and delete my account.  Twenty years old and I have about 400 friends but I still can’t get the courage to text a guy first because I’ve been subconsciously taught to wait for the guy to make the move or show a sign.  Usually this involves him liking a status of mine or a picture and then him messaging me. But why should I wait for that? Sadly, now I’m up to the point where I just can’t do it.  It’s strange to me to make the first approach. And that is a bad thing.

I live in Miami and my best friend, Ilsia, lives in Puerto Rico but our main troubles are the same.  We’ve realized that there is an unspoken rulebook that we have let dictate the way we live our digital lives.  Bottom line, we don’t like that.  Why should we wait for a like or a friend request? Is social media really helping our communication skills? That’s what we want to talk about and we hope to find other people with the same ideas and thoughts.  So…hello world.  Now begins our story.